It’s amazing what people will say in front of the twenty-five-year-old in the room. Older friends will tell me about their struggles as parents. Teenagers will talk to me about the difficulties they face with their parents. The problems vary. The struggles differ. But do you know what remains consistent? Nobody really knows what they’re doing. Nobody has all the answers. Everyone is just doing the best they can with what they have. If you thought that was just you, rest assured that it isn’t.  It’s the secret that no one admits above a whisper but everyone knows is true.

Now that might not sound reassuring; it might sound terrifying. But the truth is that it’s good news. Only when we realize our weakness are we actually in a place to train up others in the faith. When all is said and done, parenting is the work of discipling those children that God has entrusted to our care. And Christian discipleship doesn’t happen out of strength. It happens out of weakness.

Paul understood this. When he was writing to the Corinthian church, he didn’t boast in his strength. He boasted in his weakness.

And I, when I came to you, brothers, did not come proclaiming to you the testimony of God with lofty speech or wisdom. For I decided to know nothing among you except Jesus Christ and him crucified. And I was with you in weakness and in fear and much trembling, and my speech and my message were not in plausible words of wisdom, but in demonstration of the Spirit and of power, so that your faith might not rest in the wisdom of men but in the power of God.

1 Corinthians 2:1-5

Do you see Paul’s credentials? Not his strength, but his weakness. Not his courage, but his fear. It was when Paul reached the end of himself that he became a vessel of power. It was only then could he disciple the Corinthian church.

In this sense, parenting is not so different. If you want to parent well, you must reach the end of yourself and rest on the power of the Spirit. Parents are most effective, not when they rest on their own strengths, but when they throw their weakness at the feet of the One who is strong.

Parents, one of the godliest things you can do is admit to your children when you’re wrong. “I’m sorry,” is one of the most powerful and formative things you can say to your children. Because when you do it, you are modeling for your family that you are not perfect. Rather, you are resting yourself in Jesus, who is perfect. Martin Luther said that the Christian life is a life of repentance. Do the children in our church see that in us? Or do they see the false faces of adults with all the answers?

When you embrace your weakness, you disciple your children like Paul discipled Corinth. You train them not to trust in mere human wisdom and strength, but to seek refuge in the power of God. You train them to rest in their heavenly Father, the only parent with all the strength we need. God loves your children and his strength is sufficient for your every parenting need.

In Him,

Tom