Gentleness is that elusive quality we value in others but have difficulty cultivating in ourselves. Today we continue with our series on the fruit of Spirit by coming to terms with gentleness.

When searching out the definition of a particular quality or fruit from the list in Galatians 5:22-23, I’ve found the book of Proverbs to be very helpful. Proverbs 15:4 says, “A gentle tongue is a tree of life, but perverseness in it breaks the spirit.” What are gentle words that give life? Not only the words, but the intent of the words are important in order to be a tree of life. “Gentle speech can be used to mask perverse intent,” says a note in the ESV Study Bible. This raises the question of what exactly qualifies as gentleness in speech?

Gentleness has as much to do with intent as it does with content.

Perhaps the hallmark sin of our culture is smiling to someone’s face while stabbing him or her in the back. Perhaps the previous sentence does not seem like gentle speech, but is it really gentleness that makes a polite promise while planning in the heart to do the opposite of what is spoken? Or is it gentle to agree with someone when they are present, but to disagree with them in their absence? This is actually the simple definition of gossip. This is a false gentleness and it is what the proverb means when it says that perverseness (literally “crookedness”) in the tongue breaks the spirit. In other words, speech like this hurts a person’s heart in the same way a knife would hurt in their back.

Is that shepherd not a gentle shepherd who breaks the leg of a lamb to keep it from wandering away from the sheepfold? My first response is to say, “No, no! That is not gentle in the least!” But then what awaits the lamb outside the fold? The teeth of the wolf! The gentle shepherd breaks the leg in such a way that it will heal and not harm the lamb. The wolf will not be so gentle.

Sometimes the gentle thing we need to do is enter into that scary place of telling a hard truth to someone we care about. Intent and content go together and create a gentleness that may harm my ego or point out my sin. Ultimately such a gentleness will heal me. It will bring me back into the fold. It will break my bondage to sin and build up my spirit rather than break it.

I pray today that our Gentle Shepherd, will grant us grace to be built up by His word and produce the fruit of gentleness in our lives.

In Him,

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