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Transforming Relationships

When I was in middle school, I spent my summers at a high-adventure camp for boys in the mountains of North Carolina. It was a young boy’s paradise. I was first exposed to things like rock climbing and whitewater rafting there. But this camp was also my first real exposure to the wider world. Most of the counselors came from overseas, particularly Australia and New Zealand. They could escape the winter back home to spend the summer in the United States. And get paid for it!

I’d spend anywhere from three to six weeks at this camp, surrounded closely by these counselors. We ate at the same dinner table. We went on the same road trips. We slept in the same cabin. In such close proximity, they inevitably rubbed off on me. But there was one peculiar influence that always stuck around for a couple of weeks after I returned home and for which my family would mercilessly tease me: rubbish. I learned that no one from Australia or New Zealand called it trash. They called it rubbish. After spending day after day with these foreign counselors, I did too – without even thinking about it. Until school started in the fall, it wasn’t trash. It was rubbish.

We grow to reflect the people we spend time with. We talk like them. We become interested in the same things. We become more and more alike. Our closest relationships rub off on us. This conviction is at the heart of our ministry here at Grace: Discipleship Through Relationship. We grow to be more like Jesus as we spend time with others who are also pursuing him in faith. We pick up their way of talking, of thinking, and of dealing with life’s trials. This is why one of our goals as a church is for 80% of our members to be in a transforming relationship.

“What’s a transforming relationship?” you might ask. “Is that a fancy way of talking about small groups?” Yes and no. Yes, small groups are one of the places that transforming relationships happen, but they aren’t the only one. A transforming relationship happens when:

  1. We meet together regularly
  2. We pray for each other
  3. We can be honest about our triumphs and failures
  4. We spur each other on to greater faithfulness

For many of us, that will probably happen in a small group with other believers. For others, it might happen in specific groups of men or women. It might happen with people we serve beside. And for some it might look like having lunch once a week with a group of two or three trusted friends. We want to be a church filled with transforming relationships, whatever form that might take. Why? Because that’s where discipleship happens. It happens as we rub off on each other. Proverbs 27:17 puts it this way – “Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.” In transforming relationships, we sharpen each other more and more into the image of Jesus.

Jesus will meet us as we gather together as his people. As we share our lives with each other, the Holy Spirit transforms us. Brothers and sisters, will you join us in this?

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