I was gone this past weekend to present a seminar with Caron at the Tabernacle Church in Waynesboro, VA. The theme of the weekend was merciful marriage. I want to get you thinking about a few of the ideas.

The Gap

I realized something about every marriage as I thought about this seminar. Every marriage faces a gap. There is a gap between what we dream of and what we experience.  Scripture presents a beautiful picture of marriage in Genesis 2:18ff. It’s a picture of complete and total intimacy. Even people who don’t believe in God have this dream of total intimacy. Our experience of marriage is that there is a gap between the dream and the reality. Sure, there are great moments of romance, friendship, and laughter . . .  but there can be a deep emptiness sometimes too. All of us, even in the best marriages, have our stories about the gap.

Filling the Gap

So, I then realized, we put things in that gap. Children, jobs, hobbies and other activities help ease the pain we have in our deepest relationship. Marriage is work, and sometimes we just want to have fun. So we do. Some people have affairs, which are really just perpetuating the gap by a pretend relationship. A person with whom you share only one or two dimensions of a relationship doesn’t really know you. An affair is a pretense because the person is intentionally shielded from the more troublesome aspects of a relationship with you.Your spouse experiences you in the entirety of your strengths and weaknesses.

Mercy in the gap

So what do we do? What if the love and mercy of Jesus Christ flowed to our hearts and into the gap? It sounds simple, but of course we are talking about a lifelong process and journey of experiencing God’s love and mercy, and living it out with one another. It is really our best and most hopeful option. What if I accept that my mate is fallen and broken, and offer them what I’ve received from God? What if I begin myself to experience the love and grace Christ offered to me? I believe there is hope for us if we can learn to taste the mercy of God in our own souls, and let Christ fill that gap.

What to hear the talks? Check them out here.

I’ll give you more to think about next week.

In Him,

Don