Today concludes our fruit of the Spirit series with last but not least, self-control. Although it’s the caboose, it plays a vital role in the other seven fruits.
I actually find it very amusing that my name ended up on the blog schedule next to this final fruit. It’s a challenging one for me. Although self-control has a very simple and clear definition, it could be one of the most difficult things to learn.
So what exactly is self-control and how can one develop this virtue?
Author and blogger Ann Voskamp says self-control is “doing what matters the most -- not what feels the easiest.” The things that feel easiest are often what Galatians 5:17 describes as “the desires of the flesh that oppose the desires of the Spirit.” Self-control is mastery and discipline, especially in the presence of temptation and cravings.
Speaking of cravings, I am no stranger to the struggle of food portion control, especially when it comes to dessert time. If I buy a whole package of Oreos with the hopes of just having one each night, there’s a better chance of me winning the lottery than sticking to this plan. Sometimes I try to hide them from myself hoping I’ll forget where I put them. Spoiler alert: I always find them.
What are the areas in your life that you wish you had more control over? Those you work so hard to master?
Along with food, I think many of us wish we had better control over our health. I am notorious for saying “Oh, I’ll start exercising again tomorrow. I’m not in the mood today, wasn’t yesterday either, and really haven’t been in the mood this entire year.” Or perhaps you really struggle with over exercising and you can’t stop or allow yourself to rest. How about the aging process? That seems like one of the hardest things to go through or watch someone you love go through because you literally lose so much of the control you’ve known and enjoyed the majority of your life.
What about your emotions? Do you feel like you’re buckled into a crazy, rollercoaster of ever changing moods and emotional extremes? Life would be manageable if you could just stay even keeled. Or maybe you feel numb the majority of the time and just wish you could feel anything at all?
How about your schedule? Do you find contentment in having a beautiful, color-coded event calendar? Or maybe you are the other extreme, simply wishing you could find that planner you bought months ago that you haven’t written a thing in yet. I’m in the latter group. What effects do those mid-day changes to the schedule have on you? How do you handle that unexpected friend who shows up at your front door in tears needing some counsel? Do those surprises unravel you?
Maybe you have a difficult time taming your tongue or you are quick to lose your temper. Or perhaps for all you parents out there it’s your kids’ lives that you want to control. For others it’s the dating scene and what feels like the never ending search for “Mr. or Mrs. Right.”
I’m sure we can all identify at least one area of our lives that we wish we had more control over.
So, how do we develop the virtue of self-control?
Without the power of the Holy Spirit, our fuel tanks deplete quickly and we run on empty. Thankfully, we tap into a tank that is filled up and maintained by the power of the Holy Spirit. To actually be in control of ourselves, we must surrender our own will and our tight grip of the reigns and let God take over. 2 Timothy 1:7 says that “God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.” As we let go and die to self, we can remember and cling to two truths about God’s control. First, there is never a moment or a situation that is out of God’s control. He’s never off-duty or on vacation. Secondly, He not only helps us to say no to sin and fleshly impulsivity, but He also helps us say yes to the good things and makes us more like Himself.
What are the areas of your life that you are holding the reigns tightly and trying to control yourself? Is there a situation you are currently experiencing that you need to remember to trust that God is in control over? Will join me in praying Galatians 5:16 that we would “walk by the Spirit and not gratify the desires of the flesh.”?
The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control; against such things there is no law. And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. Galatians 5:22-24